Sunday, July 22, 2007

Life Lessons from You Soul - Hollywood "Ethics"

The word 'ethics' and Hollywood don't fit well in the same sentence. I walked into my first Hollywood lesson with the part I got in the Heinz commercial. You know, the one with 'no pay'. I asked the casting director/producer what the commercial was for. (Intuitively, I smelled a rat and wanted to poke around a bit to see what he was up to.) He told me it was for a commercial contest. So I Googled 'Heinz commercial competition'. It turns out the winner gets $57,000.00.

I come from the world of Metaphysics. It's a world where sharing the wealth is not only ethical, moral, reasonable and integrous, it is our birthright. I felt empowered when I called up the talent agency to find out what the industry standard was in a case such as this. The agency told me that when money is made off of my image after a spec commercial gets picked up, it is in fact the standard for the production to pay the actor in arrears for the work. He said to go back to the producer and ask him to sign a contract that would pay me a daily rate if he does, in fact win. He also said that if he refused, to NOT taked the job because he is 'not a decent human being'.

I went to the producer to ask and left a detailed voicemail. He did not return my phone call. Two days later, only a day and a half prior to the shoot, I e-mailed him asking for a contract. He e-mailed the day before saying "We won't be needing you for this project . . ." I knew it!!! He was one of those Hollywood types that gives all of them a bad name. He makes money off of the work of others while they starve, reel in hand and 'credit' for a commercial when commercials don't have credits.

Was I upset by all this? NO WAY!! Was I empowered by this? ABSOLUTELY!! When someone you know chooses to act with no integrity and you say yes to it by compromising yourself, you will always end up feeling bad about what you did. People like this will continue to operate in the world as long as others agree to their lack of integrity. I felt so empowered that I said no. I felt so strong that I did not participate when my gut told me not to. I was not the least bit disappointed in his choices. They were his choices. He did not do it to intentionally hurt anyone. He only did it to serve himself. People like that create their own misery. And that kind of thing never goes unnoticed by the nonphysical world.

Stay tuned for the next installment when I tell you how, along with my Hollywood friends, we make our own commercial for Heinz. You never know where something will lead you . . .

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Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Life Lessons from Your Soul - Unexpected Change nearing 40

My friend Tuck - The Rebel Belle uses a tool called Human Energy Design. Last week I was on a free teleseminar with her about the different energy types within this complex system of interpreting human energy.

I am a Manifesting Generator. Tuck says this type "rules the world!" (She is one too!) She says that many people will watch us go through our lives in dismay at how we make our choices and lead our lives. They may think we don't stick with things or are flighty. The truth is we are just being led by our powerful energy centers to go, create, do and become. It helped me to learn this. I have been this way all of my life and have annoyed people - like my parents - who never understood me. Worse yet, I tried to change to fit the mold of how I was 'supposed' to be. It was an Rx for misery. It helped to know it was in my energy make-up. Tuck went on to share that when we are presented with an idea, there is an immediate response with an "uh-uh" (no!) or an "uh-huh" (yes!)

The most recent unexpected shift in my life came the day Starla Fortunato took my pictures. I feel - for the first time - they really show how I look - soul and all. She really captured ME. The 'unexpected thing' happened during the day long shoot. I kept seeing a website with the pictures from the shoot on it. It was a website for modeling & acting??? What??? Where did that come from???

I felt that drive to get the photos out there to casting agencies and so I did. It was a big 'uh-huh' in my gut. I also had numerous people tell me I should model after seeing the pictures. I got the first job I applied for - a commercial for Heinz. I play a mom at a picnic. It is what is called a 'Spec Commercial'. That translates into 'no pay' BUT, I can begin to make a reel, gain experience and have something to show the big guns so I can get paying jobs. Evidently, that is what they recommend in a business where they want a reel before you can even land a job.

So why is Dr. Meg doing this? The huge "uh-huh" was the biggest part of why for me. I allow my life to be guided by that. It is in walking into the lesson that I learn about the why. The next reason is that I am in my office one-on-one or by myself most of the time. I love people and I thought this would be a great way to meet them. I also think this could be alot of fun! AND, if it can grow my financial prosperity - BRING IT ON!!!

I never know what the plan for me may be. Goal setters out there may be gasping at the moves I make. I think you're a different type! I have my goals and everything I do supports them even when it looks like they don't. I try the "uh-huh" and regroup if it doesn't work long haul. If you want to know your type, go to Tuck Self's website at . It is free to get the chart done. I recommend you have Tuck interpret it further for you. She's great!

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Sunday, July 15, 2007

Life Lessons from Your Soul - My Life Review

On August 10, I have a big birthday. I turn 40 years old. The great news is I look like I'm 29 - in fact, I look 10 years younger today than I did 5 years ago. I have finally realized I am an incredibly beautiful woman - both inside and out. I recently had a photo shoot with a phenomenal celebrity photographer. I finally saw what others have been trying to tell me my whole life. Thank you Starla Fortunato for being the wayshower for that!

I went to write in my journal tonight and felt strongly guided to write in my blog instead. The pull was so huge I had to honor it. I decided to write for all to see what my life is like right now. It's not a gimmick or a way to get more business - it's a way to share me and my process. My proceess is yours - just as my clients' processes become mine too. So read, comment if you like and get ready for the raw life of a Spiritual Psychotherapist about to turn 40 living in Los Angeles and wondering how the heck she got here!

So many people expect me to be strong for them. I listen to clients yelling on the phone to me about their lives. I help them trudge through their darkest valleys and I am here for them to cry, rant, rave and share. I love it. I love to help and listen and learn from the very wisdom that flows through me in my sessions. So often something comes out of my mouth for a client that is exactly what I need to hear. I will marvel at the brilliance of all that wisdom and thank my soul for sending it through - and my personality for allowing it to happen!

The dark side of the love for what I do is that I don't take the best care of me. I give to others so easily and willingly and have little left to give to me - not always but often enough to notice. I often buy the lie that I have to be strong for everyone else and keep the chin up even when I feel alone and afraid and scared. I get to be human too and in that frailty, I can still feel as though I never healed one ounce of what I have. Then I write it down or tell a friend or have a healing session and I feel renewed.

I remember that my teachers told me that the path would be harder for me than most - they say it always is for the one who is to teach many. So far the many have not materialized and that confuses me too. Still I know there's way more than a few but not the masses then I wonder if I am doing something wrong or if I missed the opportunity becasue I was sullen that day. Then I plod on. I do it because I must. It is just in me to keep going.

So this is me reviewing my life. The things I 'thought' I would have done by now or where I thought I would be are simply not in my life. I thought I would be happily married with four children. I am twice divorced and childless. I thought I would be a best selling author traveling the world speaking teaching and writing more. I have two unfinished book proposals sitting in this very computer, I haven't spoken to a group (other than a group of girlfriends or in a speaker's workshop) in over two years and have only left Los Angeles in the last two years to see my family in DC. I thought I would be financially properous with a couple of properties around the country, my debt paid and living comfortably. I have more debt than ever and have no idea how I am going to pay rent this next month - again!

All the rules that we hear in the self help communities - I have followed them all. I have affirmed myself to the stars, I have visualized what 'I want' adnauseum. I have blamed myself for when things did not go the way I saw it thinking 'I must not be doing this right'. I have repeated 'cancel, cancel' when I did not say the 'right' thing. I have pondered the creation of reality each and every day for years - over a decade now. I have stayed in integrity paying my bills as I said I would and eating rice for dinner or going without in so many ways I'm embarrased to write them down. I have been honest in my romantic relationships and endured lies and infidelity from nearly all of them.

Here's what I sense is happening. I sense that I am living my story - just as we all are. I am learning about acceptance, perseverance, detachment, compassion for self, honesty, duplicity, being real, letting go, really about just being me - rather than fighting every impulse that seems 'negative' because it's 'not spiritual'. I am learning to trust that there is a plan for me and my judgements about there being a 'better' one are simply that - judgements. I am learning about accepting the amazing life I do have - about gratitude, faith and hope. If I did not have these experiences, how could I really do that? I am also learning that my idea of what 'should be' is not in alignment with what is.

I cannot control this life. None of us can. We can set our goals and send out our prayers and sometimes we just have to wait. I, for one, am not going to join the ranks of all those self help guru's who refuse to admit they too have a dark side. I know that when any of us ignore that part of the self, we ignore God talking to us.

So, this is my life right now. I am human. It gets difficult. It gets euphoric. It gets diverse. It gets arduous. It gets fun. I guess I do have it all. Whether the tide turns or stays as it is, I accept the flow of my life. I thank you God for all you have given me. The blessings - I have so many. I thank you for all those who love me and most of all for your love as it sustains me and shines from my eyes, my heart and every part of my being and beyond. I love you. I love me.

(Yes. This is how I write in my journal. If anyone reads this, post your thoughts and your stories. Let's get raw here. Let's be real. Let's celebrate life and all its' bumps an bruises and triumphs too.)

This is my life review - just getting started . . . 40 here I come!

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